Celebrating A Year of Freedom

I've gone 13 months without my monthly visitor. I gave away all of the tampons I kept stored in my suitcases, glove compartment, and travel bag. It's really quite freeing and I don't miss those regular visits in the least.

I did keep some supplies for my not so "mature" friends under the sink in the guest room (just in case you're in a pinch).

What still lingers and makes me hot and bothered, are my bothersome hot-flashes. I was speaking on campus a few weeks ago when I was overcome by sweat. The sweet student next to me asked, "Are you ok, do you need a drink of water?"

No, I don't need a drink of water, I need is a blast of frigid air blowing on my boiling body, thank you very much.

"This Might Seem A Bit Daunting"

"The wide array of problems shown in this diagram may seem daunting; but..."

Imagine a diagram of a woman (I tried to copy it) and this list of changes that could, might, or will happen to you and me sometime between 40 and 60. Remember, "the wide array of problems shown in the diagram may seem daunting" (this statement had to be written either by a 25 year old woman or a man):

Headaches & Hot Flashes (ok, I've already complained about this one)
Hair loss and a lack of Luster (do you think Pantene will develop a Menopause Formula for shiny hair?)
Teeth loosen and Gums Recede (everything recedes it seems)
Breasts droop and flatten (due to obvious reasons mine won't droop)
Risk of cardiovascular disease
Backaches
Bone mass loss and bones become more fragile
Body hair becomes thicker and darker (including the whiskers on your face)
Skin Dryness (everywhere)
Stress or urge incontinence
(www.healthcentral.com/menopause)

I'll add a few more of my own -- some of which I've blogged about
Loss of coordination -- I tripped over my flared pants yesterday
Memory loss -- I murmered about this already unless I just think I did and forgot
Mood swings
Directional dyslexia
Thin lips
Bunyons
Bad and worsening breath (carry gum or mints with you everywhere you go!)

I found a good website called Menopause Out Loud. It has some good information and lots of informational links. Apparently, our mothers and grandmothers didn't really talk about "the change" which is hard to imagine. Thanks to the "boomer" generation everybody's talking about it. I admit that everyone on my team at work knows about my hot flashes -- not only because they're painfully obvious, but because I acknowledged that the flush on my face and the sweat on my brow and lip is "age induced".

Don't worry, even though the information contained in this email might seem a bit daunting, take comfort -- you're not alone.

Menopause is HOT

For a few glorious months I was "flash free". But, they're back...ever so slight yet increasing in intensity. I at least know that my racing heart and momentary nauseousness means a hot sweaty flash will follow along with a frantic search for anything that resembles a fan...my Discover Card, People Magazine or a Starbucks coffee lid. Menopause is so HOT.

Everybody's Talking About It -- Is That A Good Thing?

Is it because the "boomer" generation is large in number, or am I just sensitive to the fact that anyone and everyone who is over 45 talks about getting old? At the chiropractor's office I overheard a conversation between two women who hadn't seen each other for awhile. They caught up the usual things -- recent moves, mutual friends, increasing aches and pains, and grandchildren. One woman had one grandchild and one on the way, the other didn't have any yet and relished the moment, "Now I am finally younger than everyone else -- I'm not a grandmother yet!"

Do you notice this too?

I attend a lot of college-student gatherings. Invariably every 'older' speaker is quick to mention age in one way or the other. "In 1979 when I attended college none of you were even born yet." Or, "It's really nice for you to ask someone to speak who's old enough to be your parent."

I've decided to work hard at not mentioning the OBVIOUS fact that I'm older.

A young friend of mine who is living in a new town was bemoaning the fact that she's yet to find peers to spend time with. She explained that her youngest friend is 39 "Which is refreshing," she said because, "At least I'm not dealing with my older menopausal friends who are having hot flashes." I can imagine her 'older' friends must share all the ups and downs of these uncontrollable changes that are happening to their bodies.

It helps to commiserate, but maybe it's best to share with women our own age.

As I sympathized with her difficult situation (!) I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that my menopausal condition didn't surface at that moment. And, I held my tongue. I refrained from launching into a long exposition on the true frustrations that accompany "the change". Somehow I don't think she'd be interested.

So, I'll pick my audience with care and mutter about it with whoever is willing to listen.

Limp Lips

In a day when "plump" full lips are all the rage I find mine to be perpetually chapped and colorless. For a long time I've used Mac's "long wear" lipstick and I'm wondering if I have to make a change -- it clumps up between cracks and skin and doesn't last as long. And, because it's long wear it's IMPOSSIBLE to remove. There it sits clumped on my flaky, aging lips and I can't get it off!

What's a "menopausal woman" to do?

I've been reminded, a lot lately, of my grandmother's kisses (I loved my grandma). Her lips were far from full and every kiss on my check was met with a brush of her whiskers.

I keep wondering, is that what's next??

My Hands Are Changing

I assume that if anyone reads this it's because you too are a "modern woman going through menopause." I include "modern" in my musings because women who've gone through this stage of "maturing" never could blog about it! And, I don't think they ever really talked about it either. So, I'm going to vent, rant, and "muse" with whoever wants to join me.

I chose to start today because I've noticed that my hands are changing. My husband helped me wrap some Christmas presents recently and commented, "Your hands look like your mom's." They do...my skin is wrinkley, my fingers look boney, and what once looked like freckles are surely age spots today.

Then, last night after a nice hot bath, I rubbed my hands over my face and was reminded (not for the first time) that my palms feel like sand paper. How come nobody ever told me that even the skin on your palms change?!

Plus, maybe due to overuse, but I can't really hold a pen/pencil anymore...my hand cramps up.
What's that about? Now I know why someone invented those really fat pens...remind me to put that on my list...which I'll probably forget. I'll muse about my memory another day...if I remember.

I want to "grow old gracefully" but I can honestly see why men do a better job at this than women. My husband's hands don't look that different and he's older than I am! He keeps warning me that when I turn 50 (which is right around the corner) I'll understand some of the changes he has experienced. I smile, nod my head, and wipe the sweat from my brow, face, upper lip and wonder if his hot-flashes have started yet. But, that's for another day, another blog.